


Falling to His Knees

by OhanaHoku



Series: A Fated Failure [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Aftermath of Suicide Attempt, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Blood, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Male Friendship, Mild Blood, One Shot, Post-Episode: s05e05 The Disir, Season/Series 05, Series, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Worried Elyan, Worried Elyan (Merlin), part of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhanaHoku/pseuds/OhanaHoku
Summary: He stepped into the courtyard, and Merlin was falling. Elyan ran forward, but he was too late.orAs Elyan rushes to fetch Gaius, the memory of watching Merlin's death replays in his head.
Relationships: Elyan & Merlin (Merlin)
Series: A Fated Failure [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1488776
Comments: 18
Kudos: 95





	Falling to His Knees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FireDemonessJaganshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireDemonessJaganshi/gifts).



> Though I don't consider this part as graphic, I rated it as mature just to be safe since it describes Merlin's "death" scene. This part is dedicated to FireDemonessJaganshi for their comment on the fourth part of this series! They told me to make it hurt, so I hope I did a good job with that in this one. ;D
> 
> Triggers are in the tags, please read them first and tread with caution! (AND PLEASE READ THE PRECEDING PARTS OF THIS SERIES BEFORE READING THIS ONE!)
> 
> Disclaimer: While I have written about suicide, I do not condone or encourage suicide, nor do I wish anyone ever to take their own lives. Please, if you deal with suicidal thoughts or tendencies, talk to someone. If not a friend or family member, then call the suicide hotline where you live and get help, please. I've put a link below that has a list of numbers for various countries where you can talk to someone about the way you feel, without any repercussions or judgement. Please consider this and take the first step to feeling better.  
> [Suicide Hotlines](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html)

Elyan bolted from the courtyard as though a dragon was at his heels.

He was vaguely aware of his intention to fetch Gaius, but his concentration was in replaying the memory of seeing Merlin hit the ground over and over in his head.

_ He stepped into the courtyard, and Merlin was falling. Elyan ran forward, but he was too late. Merlin hit the ground. His body rebounded off the stone and came back down. A scream filled the air, and Elyan fell to his knees. _

_ Again. _

_ He stepped into the courtyard, looking up just in time to see Merlin before he hit the ground. He ran forward, and Merlin hit the ground hard, bouncing off the cobblestone. His feet stopped, someone screamed, and Elyan crashed to the ground. _

_ Slower. _

_ Elyan laughed at a joke from the knight beside him as he entered the courtyard, looking forward to see Merlin hurtling toward the ground. Elyan’s eyes widened, and his grin dropped as he rushed forward with a desperate shout. He only got a couple steps closer before Merlin hit the ground with a sickening crunch. His body bounced off the cobblestone and flopped back down in a splash of red. Elyan froze in place, and a woman’s scream rang out in his ears as his knees gave out beneath him. _

__ _ Once more. Pay attention. _

_ Merlin was falling, too fast- then too slow. And Elyan was moving forward, but his legs felt as though they were frozen. _

__ _ Again. Slower. _ __

_ Merlin’s body was slightly turned as he fell, and Elyan saw his face. His eyes were open. Their gazes met, and time slowed as Merlin hit the ground. _

__ _ Focus. Something's missing. _ __

_ Their eyes met, and time slowed as Merlin’s glinted in the sunlight. Then those eyes slid shut, and Elyan’s gaze shifted down to the smile on his face. A perfectly content smile. _

Elyan barged through the door and hung onto it as it swung open into the physician’s chambers.

“Elyan? Is everything alright?” Gaius asked, setting down his mortar and pestle.

“Merlin.” Elyan murmured, swallowing thickly. “In the courtyard. He needs you.”

The elderly man was quick to gather his medical kit, moved to action by how horrified the knight’s face had become. He left, and Elyan didn’t make a single move to follow him.

Merlin had killed himself. Elyan knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

He stumbled into the room, and just like before, collapsed onto his knees, eyes staring with a hollow gaze at the bench where only a mere week ago Merlin had been treating his wounds and fussing over him like a mother hen.

Merlin had always helped people, and now it was too late to help him.

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count - 452. ...So yep. Elyan knows. But now the questions is, will anyone believe him? Will Arthur especially? Or will Arthur be too stubborn to accept that Merlin tried to take his own life? Which knight is to find out next? Percy? Gwaine? And what will Gaius think when he finds out what Merlin did? Let me know your thoughts and hopes for series! I love hearing all of your suggestions. <3
> 
> Check out my [tumblr](https://ohanahoku-ao3.tumblr.com/) where I'm posting fanfic reccomendations between my updates! :D


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